Imagine that you are sailing around the world and you have $1,000,000 worth of gold coins with you. Imagine what you might do with that amount of money while you’re sailing. Would you pay off debt as well as fund your entire trip. Would these gold coins allow you to take the year off to continue to sail around the world, enjoying each moment for the next year? As the captain, you’re responsible for guiding the ship and giving directives to your crew and passengers. Now imagine that one of your crew has discovered a tiny hole in the side of the boat. During a rough patch of waters, half of your gold coins have spilled out the side of the boat. Now that might be considered a huge ‘spill’ in your journey. What would you do? Since half of the money is lost, would you count it a total loss and just pour the other $500,000 dollars worth of gold over the side? Or would you close up that hole and use the rest of the money as wisely as possible?
There are questions that we can ask that change everything. The power of a good question can cause exponential growth for you. Emotionally and mentally healthy people are always asking the right questions and those questions lead them somewhere wonderful. The right questions can kick-start your brain to begin to find the right solutions. They can be a great method to bring meaning to any circumstance of your life.
I believe there are three crucial questions that you can ask that will not only change your life but bring deep meaning to some difficult and painful circumstances.
The first question is, “How might the divine already be at work in my circumstance?” This question comes with the assumption that God is already involved and at work in your life whether you see it or not. It opens our eyes to the greatness involved in your painful situation. The second question is similar, “What about this situation is not yet whole?” This question assumes that The Divine wants to make all things whole, including us, and would like to partner with us in our lives to bring that about. When we ask this question our brain begins to look for ways that we can answer the question “how can I be more whole?” The third question is, “What am I willing to do now to partner with The Divine in order to transform my situation?” or “What am I willing to do right now to move forward in a healthy manner?” This question causes our brain to search for solutions and acknowledges that there IS a way forward and we do have control over our inner lives.
Let's take rejection for example. In fact let's go right for the jugular and talk specifically about romantic rejection. Someone that you really like, or even love, has possibly rejected you. Initially it's impossible not to take this rejection personally. Because if they are rejecting you it’s almost like they are saying that you were not good enough, smart enough, or beautiful enough for them. This can immediately lead us to asking the question "what is wrong with me "? If that's the question that you're asking, your brain will immediately begin to try to find an answer. And it will find many answers my friend. I believe that once you ask your yourself a question, your mind will begin searching for possible answers. They may not even be the right answers, but your mind will continue on trying to answer that question for days, months, or even years.
You can see how destructive this can be and how important it is ask the right questions. So let's apply our three questions to the life circumstance of being rejected romantically.
How is the divine already at work here and what is the good in this situation? Possible answers:
1. I can now see some areas that this relationship needed work and will use this information for future relationships.
2. There may be an even more fulfilling healthy relationship for me in the future.
3. Pain and frustration always precede incredible growth and I have that growth to look forward to.
What about this situation is not yet whole? Possible answers:
1. I can see through this rejection that I have not yet fully loved and accepted myself for who I am and I have the perfect opportunity to be comfortable in that area of my life.
2. I can clearly see ways in which I participated in the dissolving of this relationship and can choose to be mindful of those things in my next relationship.
3. I now realize how valuable this person is to me and will do everything I can to try to win them back without compromising myself.
What am that I'm willing to to do right now in order to partner with God transformation this situation? Possible answers:
1. Surrender the outcome completely and trust in the divine.
2. Work on those areas in my life that I know will make me a better person.
3. Begin to forgive this person.
4. Communicate with them how I truly feel.
There is no limit to the amount of good questions you can come up and they can be applied to any situation.
With these questions you can empower and enable yourself to be open to change and open to new meaning In your life. These questions help your brain to work for you instead of against you. And these questions can bring a deeper meaning to any circumstance. Happiness is nice and well. But meaning and purpose have much more weight and brings holistic fulfillment to your life.
So what is bothering you today? Before you go any further, find two things in your life that you’ve been struggling with lately. Then, identify the damaging questions you may have been asking and replace them with these three questions. Don’t wait. Do this now and watch the power of these questions change your life and make it more meaningful.