A couple of months ago I mentioned a trip to Laguna Beach with several forward thinking, open hearted, inspirational people. 50 of them to be exact. It was such an incredible time and space for connecting with humanity, conversing about social and theological dynamics, and exploring futurist topics and trends. The people that showed up there were highly intellectual and creatively charged folks. Or as we say in Boston, “these peeps are wicked smaht”. I remember spending most of my time dealing with a running inner dialogue. That guy is so much smarter than me. That girl is so much more creative than me. He writes so much better than I do. She is such a better orator than I am. I’m not as wealthy as that guy. She is such a better organizational person than I am. He is so much more deep than me. And on and on. My inner dialogue quickly lead me to one conclusion… “I don’t belong with these people.” Fortunately the love I felt from them destroyed that conclusion.
You know this inner dialogue don’t you? I wish I was as good looking as that guy. I wish my body was as toned and petite as hers. I wish my bank account looked like theirs. I could never be as smart as them. I wasn’t blessed with his charm. This inner dialogue is one of the most ungrateful and limiting dialogues you can participate in. These kind of negative, limiting beliefs can send us into a holding pattern for months, years, even decades. If we don’t process our way out of it, we will literally never grow past it.
But during one of our sessions, our leader made a profound statement. He said… “Who you aren’t, isn’t interesting”. No one is interested in hearing about who I am not. So why would I be interested in it? I decided right then that of critical importance to my growth was to stop listening to this inner dialogue. How did I do that? It’s taken some time. I’ve read many books. I’ve noticed right away when that dialogue starts and try to identify the triggers that cause it. Then I stop listening. But one more thing has worked extremely well for me. I’d like to share that with you.
I’ve stayed in contact with those remarkable people and I just spent the last few days in Denver with them. We’ve conversed together, eaten together, laughed together, opened our hearts to each other, listened to each other, cried together, and had our minds blown apart by some pretty heavy conversations and ideas. We’ve welcomed some new people into our family and we’ve loved together. And not one time did I even hear the beginning of that inner dialogue. Not one time did I begin to think that I wasn’t smart enough, creative enough, interesting enough, __________ enough, or that I didn't belong.
Do you know why? First, many months ago I decided that I wanted to rid myself of that inner dialogue and limiting beliefs and I sought out how to do that. Secondly, and more powerfully, I was too busy loving with these people. I literally shared and received so much love over the last few days that I had no room for comparing myself to them. Or comparing myself with anyone for that matter. The love came in all forms. Particularly being transferred through all the ways I spoke of in the previous paragraph.
I am convinced that love is saving the world and will continue to. That’s a whole other post. But for now I am glad to say that love has saved me. Love for myself to decide to make changes, Love for the people that I spent my time with, and Love from those people who aren’t looking to get anything out of me. They just are loving people. I type these words with tears in my eyes because of the great depths that love has moved me.
Are you constantly comparing yourself to others? Are you way to interested in who you aren’t? When was the last time you stopped and were grateful for who you are? You are a wonderful, unique, inspirational person. You are filled with so much of the Divine that you can change the world. You can Love. Get loving.