Shape your life one day at a time by getting intentional about how you start your day. This is a step by step guide to unlocking your potential with morning rituals.
I'm pretty excited to let you know that I'll be releasing 'Own The Day: How to Unlock Your Potential with Morning Rituals' on December 1. After some complications with the launch page, we have everything ironed out and are looking forward to sharing this for free. I've gotten a lot of emails asking about it and I thank you for your patience. On December 1, I will post a link to the download. I hope it helps you as much as it's helped me.
People often say, “you know who your true friends are when times are tough.” I believe you know who your true friends are when you are succeeding. One of the common denominators between my clients is that they’ve had some form of success in one area of their life. They hire me because they are seeking an outside perspective and insight to gain success in another area. On their journey, as they've accomplished some great things, some
Have you ever tried to get centered? Maybe it was through prayer, meditation or yoga. Or maybe you were on a run. Or sitting in a coffee shop and you wanted to quiet things within so that you could align with your true desires or with your God. But you just couldn’t get rid of ‘that’ voice in your head that continues to criticize everything and anything. That’s the critical voice. It’s the voice within ourselves that tells us that we’re not good enough. It tells us that
There are some days when I don’t want to do jack squat. And even on those days, jack squat seems like a stretch. I don’t always have to 'do' something. I run my own company now. No one is going to fire me if I stay in bed longer than I planned. If I don’t get the research done that I wanted to, or prep for a session that I have that day with a client, no one will know but me. But I can’t fool myself anymore. My work will suffer for it and my ability to make a difference in the world diminishes if I don’t show up consistently. Do the work.
Imagine that you are sailing around the world and you have $1,000,000 worth of gold coins with you. Imagine what you might do with that amount of money while you’re sailing. Would you pay off debt as well as fund your entire trip. Would these gold coins allow you to take the year off to continue to sail around the world, enjoying each moment for the next year? As the captain, you’re responsible for guiding the ship and giving directives to your crew and passengers. Now imagine that one of your crew has discovered a tiny hole in the side of the boat. During a rough patch of waters, half of your gold coins have spilled out the side of the boat. Now that might be considered a huge ‘spill’ in your journey. What would you do? Since half of the money is lost, would you count it a total loss and just pour the other $500,000 dollars worth of gold over the side? Or would you close up that hole and use the rest of the money as wisely as possible?
Your alarm goes off and without opening your eyes you hit the snooze button. “I’m not ready yet,” is the first thought that goes through your head. You lay there in bed, allowing all kinds of thoughts to flood your mind. “I wish I could sleep longer. I have so much to do today and I have no idea if or how I’m going to get it all done. I hope the kids aren’t up yet.” These are the first thoughts and they immediately rob you of empowerment and usurp your authority at the beginning of YOUR day… and for the rest of your day.
The movie Tommie Boy is one of my favorites. And one of my favorite lines is near the end. Someone sabotaged Callaghan Auto Parts, laying waste to their local town due to massive layoffs. Just when the two are at their lowest, the bench they are sitting on collapses under their weight. As both characters sit on a wooden pile of debris, Tommy says “Coulda done without that.” As you know, it is immediately following this moment that Tommy comes up with a hair-brain idea that saves the company and the town. They had their breakthrough.
I remember the day my first dog died. Her name was ‘Lady’, of course. She had wandered onto our property when I was about one year old and despite our efforts to find her owner, no one ever claimed her. I can’t recall my childhood without including her because she was with me for the first 14 years of my life. On that day when we finally put her to sleep, I remember shutting down in an effort to avoid the pain.
I remember my first car well. It was a light metallic blue 1989 Ford Taurus. It was 5 years old at the time but it was in excellent condition. And yes, my parents bought it for me when I was a junior in College. I had wanted my own car since I first rode in my dad’s 1969 split top, fastback, Corvette Stingray when I was 6. Now owning my own car, I thought my life was complete. I was a year away from graduating college and joining the real world and I had a car to take me wherever I wanted to go. Then this funny thing happened.
I used to live my life like I was an actor in a play. The Director shouted “ACTION!” every morning when my alarm clock went off. I’d get out of bed and follow the script faithfully: I’d get dressed, go to work, and say my lines in all the scenes that happened as the day unfolded.
I’m learning people respond when you share your fears. I was afraid of the changes my divorce would create in my life, and it seems a lot of you fear what negative changes can do in your lives as well. Since my last piece, Making the Most of a bad Situation, I’ve gotten messages like “I know exactly what you were going through” or “Why would you share such a personal story?” But the majority of responders wanted to know ‘HOW’ I made the most of a bad situation. What exactly did I do? I would like to share with you a few simple (but not easy) steps that I ended up taking to see myself through to a better quality of life. These principles are applicable to any circumstance in life that you wish were different. The first thing I had to do was…
I didn’t want to get divorced, but it happened anyway. It was ultimately out of my control. We can’t control other people or make them want us. I know that the hard way. I learned to shed a lot of lesser ‘stories’ that I would tell myself through the process of my divorce. Stories like “What’s wrong with you that she doesn’t want you? You aren’t good enough to for her love. You aren’t worth her time and effort.” None of these are true. But, it didn’t keep me from leaning into these thoughts and believing them for a time.
My most memorable wrestling match in high school was against the toughest kid I had ever met. This guy had muscles growing on top of his muscles. Before the match, he was across the gymnasium, mouthing curse words that I hadn’t even heard before. I was intimidated. But something in me snapped in that moment and I realized that there was every possibility in the world that my best was good enough.
Being completely present means that I have to let people experience the totality of me. It’s easier to say a half truth than it is to let people see all the way through me. What if they don’t like what they see? What if I don’t like what I think they see?
My clients usually come to me when they know that they are ready to change their lives, but don’t know where to start. When people find out I'm a life coach, they often tell me their own life situation and ask for suggestions. I usually ask a few questions to try to understand their situation better before offering insights and suggestions. It almost always comes down to one simple solution: helping them uncover what they truly want. I'm amazed how often people aren’t aware of what they truly want. Life has a way of happening to us instead of us happening to life. See if this is a familiar story.
I used to be the biggest cynic. It’s true. As a child I was always playing and using my imagination, but rarely was I ‘care-free’. I always saw what could go wrong and I expected it. I didn’t call myself ‘cynical’. Seriously, who ever wants to be known as a glass is half empty kind of person? But that’s what I was. I thought it meant that I was smart. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
You can’t get online today without coming across an article or quote on forgiveness. It’s everywhere, and I believe it’s good. I was going through a typical day last week and something was off for me. I couldn’t figure out what it was, but I wasn’t centered and I was having a difficult time being at home within my own space. I sat down and began to reflect and be mindful of what was going on within my spirit and body. And then it hit me. I had some anger about an old wound that I had received.
So there’s this thing that happens when we experience something painful, like a tragedy, a broken heart or disappointment. We’re only human, so it’s natural to experience the pain. It’s healthy to allow ourselves to experience the fullness of that pain so that we aren’t hiding from it or stuffing it down. But sometimes we get in a rut and we tell the same story over and over and over again. There is a certain amount of significance we can get from telling a particular story, even if it isn’t an empowering one.
Let me tell you a story about something that happens in my life. I’ll be talking with a friend and as they’re sharing their problems or life challenges with me, I immediately feel like I have to solve their issues. There’s this weight that I immediately take on as I think through their particular situation and it’s as if I feel I HAVE to come up with a solution or I’m not good at what I do. I attach too much of my worth to solving problems that aren’t meant for me to solve and often times, my friends just need someone to talk to.